Are Anju Man Discovers the Joy of Shoes Without Laces

from: The Pepperville Tribune Tuesday, June 2nd, 2020 Pepperville resident, Ben Wilson, has recently discovered the satisfaction that comes with not having to tie up his sneakers every time he puts them on. It seems 47-year-old Wilson found this out only recently, while searching in vain for the eleventh pair of his usual lace-ups at … Continue reading Are Anju Man Discovers the Joy of Shoes Without Laces

Supermarket Swingers

Six hunky, well-ripened avocados, nine hot young chilies and three smartly-pressed cloves of garlic seeking fresh, fragrant shallots and tart, juicy lemons for discreet, no-strings-attached Cuisinart group encounters in an upscale kitchen in Layville's desirable Tenderloin district.We're pepper-friendly and love salty humour. You're chill, GMO-free, at least 18 hours post-harvest, and willing to practise safe … Continue reading Supermarket Swingers

To Rhyme is Divine

dismissive champions of free verseare wont to scorn and even curseus bards who like our poems to rhymeas ignorant of thoughts sublimebut unlike bingeing on YouTuberhyme makes us solve a Rubik's cubenot plastic squares of red and yellowbut grey matter, like hardened jelloyes rhyming schemes can lead astraythe messages we thought we'd saybut hanging in … Continue reading To Rhyme is Divine

Yeasty Beast

(photo credit: Christina) (dedicated to Dick and Christina) by Paul Raworth Bennett Still in his dressing gown, Dick was hauling the blue box to the curb when his wife's voice burst from the kitchen window, shattering the morning calm. “Dick! Get in here, now!” Dropping the container in the driveway, he rushed back into the … Continue reading Yeasty Beast

Ferocious Fruit

by Paul Raworth Bennett (an Irish-jiggy kind of tune) Saturday night I was on my couch watching Show after show of just awful TV When my dull mind thought of homemade fruit salad But in the fridge there was none I could see So I walked down to the grocery and headed Straight for the … Continue reading Ferocious Fruit

Inside the Writer’s Mind

Note to my cherished readers - This frivolity is a little bit like a scene from a play: green text = my inner critic red = my replies to said critic black = what I was struggling to write (strikethroughs are deletions) black italicized = the narrator Oh, and Bingo is my dog. ***** Dear … Continue reading Inside the Writer’s Mind

Appalachia hit by “Animal Rainstorms”

by Paul Raworth Bennett BREAKING WEATHER ALERT: For several days now, from mysterious origins thousands of feet above, it's been literally raining cats and dogs upon the leafy streets and stately old mansions of Beech Bottom, West Virginia. On every block, thousands of drenched, collarless and confused kitties and pooches - of all breeds, shapes, … Continue reading Appalachia hit by “Animal Rainstorms”

Revenge, Foiled.

🙂 To hear this story, use the player below. 🙂 Revenge, Foiled. by Paul Raworth Bennett Today, I almost did a terrible thing. My dog Bingo and I were taking our usual morning stroll, walking briskly west along an eastbound one-way lane.  As we passed in front of a daycare centre and playground, a row of … Continue reading Revenge, Foiled.

Happy Floppy Puppy Play

by Paul Raworth Bennett Okay!  Come on, let's play! Let's play, Bingo.  C'mon!! Kisses!  C'mon… kisses! That's a boy!  That's a boy!... Huggie time!… hrrr..rrr… hrrr… hrrr… C'mon, c'mon, let's play!... Floppy, floppy, puppy kisses! rrrr…!  rrrr…!  arrr..rrr!... Hug time!  Come on! hrrr…!  RUFF!! Oh, oh, oh…  okay... okay… Enough... enough... enough!

All Hail Canada’s Hair Apparent!

🙂 To hear this story, use the player below. 🙂 All Hail Canada's Hair Apparent! by Paul Raworth Bennett Canadian Federal politics just got a lot hairier after yesterday's landslide victory for the Liberal Party's youthful and telegenic leader, Justin "Selfie" Trudeau. Lock-dreading, tressed-out Tory supporters may just feel like curling up in knots this … Continue reading All Hail Canada’s Hair Apparent!

Vowelplay

by Paul Raworth Bennett Hassan can, at a handclap, call a vassal at hand and ask that all staff plan a bacchanal. This surprisingly coherent little piece of verbal frivolity is an example of univocalics - a type of constrained writing in which all words use only a single vowel. The brilliant Canadian poet, Christian Bök, … Continue reading Vowelplay